One of my least favorite things about Australia is the spiders, they just move so darn fast! But, having said that, my experience with them has been minimal as I seem to have an eye for them and catch them before they creep under my bed when the lights go off. This morning however I was not so lucky! I was carrying Harry down the front steps to the car when I saw it too late. The web I had just broken with my enormous bosoms!
It almost happened in slow motion! The spider, who was probably sleeping when me, Giganto, created an earthquake in his seemingly peaceful world. I realised too late that said spider had fallen victim to gravity and fallen down the black hole, otherwise known as my cleavage. I squeeled "spider"......."aghhhhhhhhhhhh"................"spider in my boobs" as Tim came racing down the stairs to find me gratuitously grabbing my own boobs with my spare hand and for some reason kicking my knees up in a body conditioning fashion, hoping to squish the little bugger so it would not set up home in the warm surroundings! I am so glad there were no neighbors around as I looked hilairous grabbing my boobs and spinning in a circle hoping to whip the spider out like a tightly wound spring. Alas, it was not so, it was flattened beyond all recognition as it sadly fell to the ground it's legs splayed in all directions.
Harry found the whole thing hilarious, thinking we were playing a game but now he was a little dizzy and vomited into said previous spider haven and into my bra. At least I can put them to good use....spider house, vomit catcher...etc etc...
At least I didn't drop him!
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